KaytLudi.com

I live in southern Arizona. There was a shooting here this morning by Border Patrol. Local. Immediate.  I clicked on a news article trying to understand what happened — and then I made the mistake of reading the comments. It didn’t take long before reality dissolved completely. People were saying ICE makes them feel safer. Not cautiously. Not with qualifiers. With chest-out confidence. From there, the conversation slid — predictably, inevitably — into a Fox News–approved rerun of the Alex Pretti shooting. Not because it was relevant. Not because it clarified anything about what happened here. But because it’s now a talisman. A loyalty test. A script. One guy even posted the photo of Pretti being disarmed and claimed the agent walking away with the gun was actually Pretti approaching ICE with his weapon drawn. That’s not an interpretation. That’s a complete inversion of what’s visible to the human eye. This is how it works now: One angle. One story. Nothing else allowed. How can you...

Since I’ve written openly about my return to graduate school, I want to take a moment to share an update and acknowledge a change in direction. I’m not in graduate school anymore, for now. This wasn’t a decision I made lightly, and it wasn’t about a lack of interest or commitment. If anything, the desire to keep learning is still very much there. What changed were the logistics — specifically around student loans — and they ultimately made continuing right now impossible. The first issue was available financial aid. I knew I didn’t have enough to realistically cover the program, but updated figures — especially once interest was factored in — meant I wouldn’t even have half. I could have borrowed a small amount, but that leads to the second and much bigger problem: borrowing even a minimal amount would have reactivated my previously discharged student loan debt — over $130,000. That debt was discharged due to disability. To take out new federal student loans now, I would be require...

Every December, I start thinking about the year ahead - not in terms of rigid goals or impossible resolutions, but in terms of how I want the year to feel . For 2026, my word of the year is FlowWard . OK, I know it's not a real word - but I wanted something that embodies both going with the flow but still going forward.  Not forward in the hustle-y, grind-yourself-into-dust sense. And not flow as in drifting aimlessly and hoping things work out. FlowWard is about moving ahead gently, deliberately, and sustainably; making progress without forcing it. Why “FlowWard”? For a long time, productivity felt like pressure to me. Do more. Be faster. Push harder. Keep up. Somewhere along the way, that mindset stopped working. It led to burnout, stalled projects, and the constant feeling that I was behind—even when I was doing a lot.  And that's all before crashing into heap physically and literally getting behind. FlowWard is my rejection of my previous approach. It’s the idea...

  With the nightmare that is Trump 2.0 I ask myself on a daily basis whether to stay or go.  Honestly, for reasons I've never known, I've just always assumed I would end my life in a different country than the one in which I was born.  Maybe it's a Sagittarius thing.  Maybe it was the faint shadow of fascism on the horizon I detected back in the Dubbya admin.  Maybe it was the fact my mother was in need of a caregiver for the last 25 years of her life and moving to a country where help could be better-afforded looked appealing.  Maybe it was the fact I fell in love with a European.  Maybe it was the fact I love teaching ESL.  Maybe it was all of that. Maybe it was none of it. I don't know. But considering leaving your country, even wanting to leave it, and feeling forced out are very different things.  As anyone who knows me will tell you, I have never (and will never) respond well to being told what to do (particularly by men).  I'm not...

    My word for 2025 is: Connect.  In the last couple years I've let all my human connections wither, and I should really change that!

I'm a month into my MA English Lit degree and to let you know how it's going ... I'm already shopping for a different program to start in Fall. Casting no aspersions on the program, the school, the professors, or the other students (all of which/whom I adore) this is very much not for me.  I feel a bit like I'm losing my mind - the stress, the workload, the lack of direction of statements like 'make a substantive post of what you found interesting' when I found it all too tedious to be of interest - is sucking the life out of me. I honestly can't figure out how I'm getting good grades so far - I have no idea what this crap is, what I'm supposed to do with it, or why I'm doing it.  I feel utterly lost, and that every word I write in these courses is BS. This is just too theoretical and I can see clearly that, for me, this is going to kill my love of reading in general and literature specifically. There is, after all, such a thing as picking someth...

After my last post things got even worse in the form of a fire which destroyed the house where my parents were living and killed three of our dogs. Since then I've been back on Zoloft, my mom has been in the hospital (and a nursing home) trying to heal a broken femur, and my dad moved in here. It's been one of those moments when the entire boat of your life capsizes, leaving you treading water and unsure of how you even ended up in that situation.     That's about all I can manage to say about these past four months right now - I'm not a person who processes feelings contemporaneously - I shut down and go into survival mode (resorting to whatever coping mechanism carries the day). This house here has been coming along, slowly but surely, and I started my final undergrad semester last month - it consists of a required public speaking course and the capstone course. The capstone is covering sacred spaces and places of pilgrimage (instructor's choice) so anticipate (or...

Q: After reviewing the course materials for Weeks 6 and 7, discuss the concepts of moral equality and moral recognition. How do they impact the treatment of animals and people? What are the ethics of keeping animals in captivity and killing animals? How do animals become meat? How does the consumption of meat establish borders between classes, races and genders? What are some of the ethical questions surrounding the consumption of animals?  Photo by Christopher Carson on Unsplash A: Moral equality is the principle that all people have equal human rights – or that at least is the way it should be; the ideal. Moral recognition is the acknowledgement that there are differences between various groups of people (different genders, races, beliefs, behaviors, levels of intelligence, etc.), but the ideal of equality should still be applied; the differences should not merit different treatment.  However, this idealized equality – which we still struggle to apply to all people –...

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash   I saw a tweet the other day that said: Ask 10 writers how to write, and you’ll get 13 different answers. As much as that did produce a chuckle from me, it’s also the truth. In fact, that might be an understatement. The amount of writing produced about writing is almost insane. Write every day, inspiration is for amateurs. Have a set word-count goal. Treat it like a 9–5 job. Churn out content like a machine. You can’t edit a blank page. Plot every syllable. Go with the flow, follow your muse. Pantsing is just as valid as plotting. It’s OK to write one great novel and then retire. Take 15 years to write a pamphlet, slow and steady wins the race. You do you. Be a reclusive artiste . Get out there in the real world. Write what you know. Don’t write about your real life, be creative. This famous writer wrote first thing in the morning on a laptop, with a huge amount of caffeine at hand. That famous writer wrote in the middle of the night by ...

Q: How has the question of humanness/what it means to be human changed over time in human thought? What roles do animals play in human thought? Why is it important to look at animals according to Berger? Why is important that animals cannot “look” back at us in the same way? How do you see Banksy’s installation The Village Pet Shop and Charcoal Grill and/or Sirens of the Lambs challenging the way we use and socially construct animals? How does the installations question the way we may look at animals in our daily lives? A: The concept of humanness is nothing more than a social construct. And where a living being falls on the scale of perceived humanness has always been determined by those with the power to do so (mostly white European men, historically). While the definition has broadened over time it has not necessarily deepened. True, it now includes women and non-white ethnicities most of the time , though obviously animal terms are hurled towards these groups as slurs even to this...